Adventures of the Teenie Weenies

by William Donahey

Help! Policemans!

THUNDERIN’ SNAILS!” exclaimed Paddy Pinn, shortly after the little folks had helped the robin get his breakfast, as he picked up one of the tiny garden hoes the Teenie Weenies use. “I’d bust this hoe with one dig, that’s what I’d do,” and the big fellow burst out in a loud laugh.

“Well, that’s the best we’ve got to offer you,” said the Old Soldier.

“I’ll make one for myself before a grasshopper can shake his left hind foot, that’s what I’ll do,” cried Paddy, and he ran off towards the rose bush under which the Teenie Weenies lived. In a few minutes he returned with a big thorn, which he had cut from a dead brier, and, using a match for a handle, he made a fine hoe by tying the thorn to the match.

“There!” he exclaimed holding it up. “That’s what I call a man’s sized hoe, that’s what I do.”

The little people set out for the garden, as the General had ordered them to hoe the lima beans. A number of seeds had been planted, for the Teenie Weenies were fond of lima beans and they usually had to store away about two hundred and fifty beans to last them through the winter.

“It will take quite a few more beans this winter,” said the General, “for our family is larger now.”

“Why the Dunce can eat twenty himself,” laughed the Cook.

“You bet I could,” cried the Dunce, who was always hungry. “I could eat a whole lima bean right this minute.”

“Why you couldn’t eat half a bean at once,” said the Old Soldier.

“Well, I bet a grape seed I could eat a third of a bean, anyhow,” answered the Dunce.

The Teenie Weenie garden was hidden away where grown-up people would not be likely to tramp on the plants and as the little folks trudged along Gogo struck up the following song, while all the rest joined in the chorus:

“Beans they take the place of meat,
And so if we all wish to eat,
We must take our rake and hoe
And scratch the earth to make ’em grow.
CHORUS
“Hoe, hoe, rake and hoe!
Digging up and down the row.
Hoe, hoe, rake and hoe!
If you want to see them grow.”

The Teenie Weenies soon arrived at the garden and they set to work at once, still singing the little song and keeping time with the music as their tiny hoes struck the ground.

The Lady of Fashion helped with the work, but she was very careful not to soil her new garden suit, especially her tiny boots, which were made out of the finest frog leather.

“Listen!” said the Old Soldier, “I thought I he—” But he did not finish the sentence, for loud screams came from the tall grass back of the garden.

“Helpee! Helpee! Policemans, policemans!” came a voice, and suddenly the frightened Chinaman burst into sight with the most alarming speed.

Hanging onto his shirt tail was a big fat pinching-bug and the scared Chinaman was only touching the ground about every six inches.

Paddy Pinn struck the bug on the head with his huge hoe, as the Chinaman went by, and it rolled over on the ground half stunned by the mighty blow.

“Where did you pick up your friend,” asked the General, as he watched the bug scurry away through the tall grass.

“Me no pickee him up,” gasped the Chinaman. “Allee same he pick me up. Me sit down under bush to rest and me go sleepee. Me wakee up much klick and, whillikers, me see blig plinch bug and me run, but he catchee to shirtee tail and me runnee like glasshopper!”

“I should say you did run like a grasshopper,” laughed the Cowboy.

“Allee same you run like glasshopper, too,” glared the Chinaman, “if blig plinchin’-bug was hangin’ on your shirtee tail.”