Tartuffe; or, The Hypocrite

by Jean-Baptiste Poquelin (Moliere)

ACT V

SCENE I

ORGON, CLEANTE

  CLEANTE
  Whither away so fast?
  ORGON
  How should I know?
  CLEANTE
  Methinks we should begin by taking counsel
  To see what can be done to meet the case.
  ORGON
  I'm all worked up about that wretched box.
  More than all else it drives me to despair.
  CLEANTE
  That box must hide some mighty mystery?
  ORGON
  Argas, my friend who is in trouble, brought it
  Himself, most secretly, and left it with me.
  He chose me, in his exile, for this trust;
  And on these documents, from what he said,
  I judge his life and property depend.
  CLEANTE
  How could you trust them to another's hands?
  ORGON
  By reason of a conscientious scruple.
  I went straight to my traitor, to confide
  In him; his sophistry made me believe
  That I must give the box to him to keep,
  So that, in case of search, I might deny
  My having it at all, and still, by favour
  Of this evasion, keep my conscience clear
  Even in taking oath against the truth.
  CLEANTE
  Your case is bad, so far as I can see;
  This deed of gift, this trusting of the secret
  To him, were both—to state my frank opinion—
  Steps that you took too lightly; he can lead you
  To any length, with these for hostages;
  And since he holds you at such disadvantage,
  You'd be still more imprudent, to provoke him;
  So you must go some gentler way about.
  ORGON
  What! Can a soul so base, a heart so false,
  Hide neath the semblance of such touching fervour?
  I took him in, a vagabond, a beggar! …
  'Tis too much! No more pious folk for me!
  I shall abhor them utterly forever,
  And henceforth treat them worse than any devil.
  CLEANTE
  So! There you go again, quite off the handle!
  In nothing do you keep an even temper.
  You never know what reason is, but always
  Jump first to one extreme, and then the other.
  You see your error, and you recognise
  That you've been cozened by a feigned zeal;
  But to make up for't, in the name of reason,
  Why should you plunge into a worse mistake,
  And find no difference in character
  Between a worthless scamp, and all good people?
  What! Just because a rascal boldly duped you
  With pompous show of false austerity,
  Must you needs have it everybody's like him,
  And no one's truly pious nowadays?
  Leave such conclusions to mere infidels;
  Distinguish virtue from its counterfeit,
  Don't give esteem too quickly, at a venture,
  But try to keep, in this, the golden mean.
  If you can help it, don't uphold imposture;
  But do not rail at true devoutness, either;
  And if you must fall into one extreme,
  Then rather err again the other way.
SCENE II

DAMIS, ORGON, CLEANTE

  DAMIS
  What! father, can the scoundrel threaten you,
  Forget the many benefits received,
  And in his base abominable pride
  Make of your very favours arms against you?
  ORGON
  Too true, my son. It tortures me to think on't.
  DAMIS
  Let me alone, I'll chop his ears off for him.
  We must deal roundly with his insolence;
  'Tis I must free you from him at a blow;
  'Tis I, to set things right, must strike him down.
  CLEANTE
  Spoke like a true young man. Now just calm down,
  And moderate your towering tantrums, will you?
  We live in such an age, with such a king,
  That violence can not advance our cause.
SCENE III

MADAME PERNELLE, ORGON, ELMIRE, CLEANTE, MARIANE, DAMIS, DORINE

  MADAME PERNELLE
  What's this? I hear of fearful mysteries!
  ORGON
  Strange things indeed, for my own eyes to witness;
  You see how I'm requited for my kindness,
  I zealously receive a wretched beggar,
  I lodge him, entertain him like my brother,
  Load him with benefactions every day,
  Give him my daughter, give him all my fortune:
  And he meanwhile, the villain, rascal, wretch,
  Tries with black treason to suborn my wife,
  And not content with such a foul design,
  He dares to menace me with my own favours,
  And would make use of those advantages
  Which my too foolish kindness armed him with,
  To ruin me, to take my fortune from me,
  And leave me in the state I saved him from.
  DORINE
  Poor man!
  MADAME PERNELLE
  My son, I cannot possibly
  Believe he could intend so black a deed.
  ORGON
  What?
  MADAME PERNELLE
  Worthy men are still the sport of envy.
  ORGON
  Mother, what do you mean by such a speech?
  MADAME PERNELLE
  There are strange goings-on about your house,
  And everybody knows your people hate him.
  ORGON
  What's that to do with what I tell you now?
  MADAME PERNELLE
  I always said, my son, when you were little:
  That virtue here below is hated ever;
  The envious may die, but envy never.
  ORGON
  What's that fine speech to do with present facts?
  MADAME PERNELLE
  Be sure, they've forged a hundred silly lies …
  ORGON
  I've told you once, I saw it all myself.
  MADAME PERNELLE
  For slanderers abound in calumnies …
  ORGON
  Mother, you'd make me damn my soul. I tell you
  I saw with my own eyes his shamelessness.
  MADAME PERNELLE
  Their tongues for spitting venom never lack,
  There's nothing here below they'll not attack.
  ORGON
  Your speech has not a single grain of sense.
  I saw it, harkee, saw it, with these eyes
  I saw—d'ye know what saw means?—must I say it
  A hundred times, and din it in your ears?
  MADAME PERNELLE
  My dear, appearances are oft deceiving,
  And seeing shouldn't always be believing.
  ORGON
  I'll go mad.
  MADAME PERNELLE
  False suspicions may delude,
  And good to evil oft is misconstrued.
  ORGON
  Must I construe as Christian charity
  The wish to kiss my wife!
  MADAME PERNELLE
  You must, at least,
  Have just foundation for accusing people,
  And wait until you see a thing for sure.
  ORGON
  The devil! How could I see any surer?
  Should I have waited till, before my eyes,
  He … No, you'll make me say things quite improper.
  MADAME PERNELLE
  In short, 'tis known too pure a zeal inflames him;
  And so, I cannot possibly conceive
  That he should try to do what's charged against him.
  ORGON
  If you were not my mother, I should say
  Such things! … I know not what, I'm so enraged!
  DORINE (to Orgon)
  Fortune has paid you fair, to be so doubted;
  You flouted our report, now yours is flouted.
  CLEANTE
  We're wasting time here in the merest trifling,
  Which we should rather use in taking measures
  To guard ourselves against the scoundrel's threats.
  DAMIS
  You think his impudence could go far?
  ELMIRE
  For one, I can't believe it possible;
  Why, his ingratitude would be too patent.
  CLEANTE
  Don't trust to that; he'll find abundant warrant
  To give good colour to his acts against you;
  And for less cause than this, a strong cabal
  Can make one's life a labyrinth of troubles.
  I tell you once again: armed as he is
  You never should have pushed him quite so far.
  ORGON
  True; yet what could I do? The rascal's pride
  Made me lose all control of my resentment.
  CLEANTE
  I wish with all my heart that some pretence
  Of peace could be patched up between you two
  ELMIRE
  If I had known what weapons he was armed with,
  I never should have raised such an alarm,
  And my …
  ORGON (to Dorine, seeing Mr. Loyal come in)
  Who's coming now? Go quick, find out.
  I'm in a fine state to receive a visit!
SCENE IV

ORGON, MADAME PERNELLE, ELMIRE, MARIANE, CLEANTE, DAMIS, DORINE, MR. LOYAL

  MR. LOYAL (to Dorine, at the back of the stage)
  Good day, good sister. Pray you, let me see
  The master of the house.
  DORINE
  He's occupied;
  I think he can see nobody at present.
  MR. LOYAL
  I'm not by way of being unwelcome here.
  My coming can, I think, nowise displease him;
  My errand will be found to his advantage.
  DORINE
  Your name, then?
  MR. LOYAL
  Tell him simply that his friend
  Mr. Tartuffe has sent me, for his goods …
  DORINE (to Orgon)
  It is a man who comes, with civil manners,
  Sent by Tartuffe, he says, upon an errand
  That you'll be pleased with.
  CLEANTE (to Orgon)
  Surely you must see him,
  And find out who he is, and what he wants.
  ORGON (to Cleante)
  Perhaps he's come to make it up between us:
  How shall I treat him?
  CLEANTE
  You must not get angry;
  And if he talks of reconciliation
  Accept it.
  MR. LOYAL (to Orgon)
  Sir, good-day. And Heaven send
  Harm to your enemies, favour to you.
  ORGON (aside to Cleante)
  This mild beginning suits with my conjectures
  And promises some compromise already.
  MR. LOYAL
  All of your house has long been dear to me;
  I had the honour, sir, to serve your father.
  ORGON
  Sir, I am much ashamed, and ask your pardon
  For not recalling now your face or name.
  MR. LOYAL
  My name is Loyal. I'm from Normandy.
  My office is court-bailiff, in despite
  Of envy; and for forty years, thank Heaven,
  It's been my fortune to perform that office
  With honour. So I've come, sir, by your leave
  To render service of a certain writ …
  ORGON
  What, you are here to …
  MR. LOYAL
  Pray, sir, don't be angry.
  'Tis nothing, sir, but just a little summons:—
  Order to vacate, you and yours, this house,
  Move out your furniture, make room for others,
  And that without delay or putting off,
  As needs must be …
  ORGON
  I? Leave this house?
  MR. LOYAL
  Yes, please, sir
  The house is now, as you well know, of course,
  Mr. Tartuffe's. And he, beyond dispute,
  Of all your goods is henceforth lord and master
  By virtue of a contract here attached,
  Drawn in due form, and unassailable.
  DAMIS (to Mr. Loyal)
  Your insolence is monstrous, and astounding!
  MR. LOYAL (to Damis)
  I have no business, sir, that touches you;
  (Pointing to Orgon)
  This is the gentleman. He's fair and courteous,
  And knows too well a gentleman's behaviour
  To wish in any wise to question justice.
  ORGON
  But …
  MR. LOYAL
  Sir, I know you would not for a million
  Wish to rebel; like a good citizen
  You'll let me put in force the court's decree.
  DAMIS
  Your long black gown may well, before you know it,
  Mister Court-bailiff, get a thorough beating.
  MR. LOYAL (to Orgon)
  Sir, make your son be silent or withdraw.
  I should be loath to have to set things down,
  And see your names inscribed in my report.
  DORINE (aside)
  This Mr. Loyal's looks are most disloyal.
  MR. LOYAL
  I have much feeling for respectable
  And honest folk like you, sir, and consented
  To serve these papers, only to oblige you,
  And thus prevent the choice of any other
  Who, less possessed of zeal for you than I am
  Might order matters in less gentle fashion.
  ORGON
  And how could one do worse than order people
  Out of their house?
  MR. LOYAL
  Why, we allow you time;
  And even will suspend until to-morrow
  The execution of the order, sir.
  I'll merely, without scandal, quietly,
  Come here and spend the night, with half a score
  Of officers; and just for form's sake, please,
  You'll bring your keys to me, before retiring.
  I will take care not to disturb your rest,
  And see there's no unseemly conduct here.
  But by to-morrow, and at early morning,
  You must make haste to move your least belongings;
  My men will help you—I have chosen strong ones
  To serve you, sir, in clearing out the house.
  No one could act more generously, I fancy,
  And, since I'm treating you with great indulgence,
  I beg you'll do as well by me, and see
  I'm not disturbed in my discharge of duty.
  ORGON
  I'd give this very minute, and not grudge it,
  The hundred best gold louis I have left,
  If I could just indulge myself, and land
  My fist, for one good square one, on his snout.
  CLEANTE (aside to Orgon)
  Careful!—don't make things worse.
  DAMIS
  Such insolence!
  I hardly can restrain myself. My hands
  Are itching to be at him.
  DORINE
  By my faith,
  With such a fine broad back, good Mr. Loyal,
  A little beating would become you well.
  MR. LOYAL
  My girl, such infamous words are actionable.
  And warrants can be issued against women.
  CLEANTE (to Mr. Loyal)
  Enough of this discussion, sir; have done.
  Give us the paper, and then leave us, pray.
  MR. LOYAL
  Then au revoir. Heaven keep you from disaster!
  ORGON
  May Heaven confound you both, you and your master!
SCENE V

ORGON, MADAME PERNELLE, ELMIRE, CLEANTE, MARIANE, DAMIS, DORINE

  ORGON
  Well, mother, am I right or am I not?
  This writ may help you now to judge the matter.
  Or don't you see his treason even yet?
  MADAME PERNELLE
  I'm all amazed, befuddled, and beflustered!
  DORINE (to Orgon)
  You are quite wrong, you have no right to blame him;
  This action only proves his good intentions.
  Love for his neighbour makes his virtue perfect;
  And knowing money is a root of evil,
  In Christian charity, he'd take away
  Whatever things may hinder your salvation.
  ORGON
  Be still. You always need to have that told you.
  CLEANTE (to Orgon)
  Come, let us see what course you are to follow.
  ELMIRE
  Go and expose his bold ingratitude.
  Such action must invalidate the contract;
  His perfidy must now appear too black
  To bring him the success that he expects.
SCENE VI

VALERE, ORGON, MADAME PERNELLE, ELMIRE, CLEANTE, MARIANE, DAMIS, DORINE

  VALERE
  'Tis with regret, sir, that I bring bad news;
  But urgent danger forces me to do so.
  A close and intimate friend of mine, who knows
  The interest I take in what concerns you,
  Has gone so far, for my sake, as to break
  The secrecy that's due to state affairs,
  And sent me word but now, that leaves you only
  The one expedient of sudden flight.
  The villain who so long imposed upon you,
  Found means, an hour ago, to see the prince,
  And to accuse you (among other things)
  By putting in his hands the private strong-box
  Of a state-criminal, whose guilty secret,
  You, failing in your duty as a subject,
  (He says) have kept. I know no more of it
  Save that a warrant's drawn against you, sir,
  And for the greater surety, that same rascal
  Comes with the officer who must arrest you.
  CLEANTE
  His rights are armed; and this is how the scoundrel
  Seeks to secure the property he claims.
  ORGON
  Man is a wicked animal, I'll own it!
  VALERE
  The least delay may still be fatal, sir.
  I have my carriage, and a thousand louis,
  Provided for your journey, at the door.
  Let's lose no time; the bolt is swift to strike,
  And such as only flight can save you from.
  I'll be your guide to seek a place of safety,
  And stay with you until you reach it, sir.
  ORGON
  How much I owe to your obliging care!
  Another time must serve to thank you fitly;
  And I pray Heaven to grant me so much favour
  That I may some day recompense your service.
  Good-bye; see to it, all of you …
  CLEANTE
  Come hurry;
  We'll see to everything that's needful, brother.
SCENE VII

TARTUFFE, AN OFFICER, MADAME PERNELLE, ORGON, ELMIRE, CLEANTE, MARIANE, VALERE, DAMIS, DORINE

  TARTUFFE (stopping Orgon)
  Softly, sir, softly; do not run so fast;
  You haven't far to go to find your lodging;
  By order of the prince, we here arrest you.
  ORGON
  Traitor! You saved this worst stroke for the last;
  This crowns your perfidies, and ruins me.
  TARTUFFE
  I shall not be embittered by your insults,
  For Heaven has taught me to endure all things.
  CLEANTE
  Your moderation, I must own, is great.
  DAMIS
  How shamelessly the wretch makes bold with Heaven!
  TARTUFFE
  Your ravings cannot move me; all my thought
  Is but to do my duty.
  MARIANE
  You must claim
  Great glory from this honourable act.
  TARTUFFE
  The act cannot be aught but honourable,
  Coming from that high power which sends me here.
  ORGON
  Ungrateful wretch, do you forget 'twas I
  That rescued you from utter misery?
  TARTUFFE
  I've not forgot some help you may have given;
  But my first duty now is toward my prince.
  The higher power of that most sacred claim
  Must stifle in my heart all gratitude;
  And to such puissant ties I'd sacrifice
  My friend, my wife, my kindred, and myself.
  ELMIRE
  The hypocrite!
  DORINE
  How well he knows the trick
  Of cloaking him with what we most revere!
  CLEANTE
  But if the motive that you make parade of
  Is perfect as you say, why should it wait
  To show itself, until the day he caught you
  Soliciting his wife? How happens it
  You have not thought to go inform against him
  Until his honour forces him to drive you
  Out of his house? And though I need not mention
  That he'd just given you his whole estate,
  Still, if you meant to treat him now as guilty,
  How could you then consent to take his gift?
  TARTUFFE (to the Officer)
  Pray, sir, deliver me from all this clamour;
  Be good enough to carry out your order.
  THE OFFICER
  Yes, I've too long delayed its execution;
  'Tis very fitting you should urge me to it;
  So therefore, you must follow me at once
  To prison, where you'll find your lodging ready.
  TARTUFFE
  Who? I, sir?
  THE OFFICER
  You.
  TARTUFFE
  By why to prison?
  THE OFFICER
  You
  Are not the one to whom I owe account.
  You, sir (to Orgon), recover from your hot alarm.
  Our prince is not a friend to double dealing,
  His eyes can read men's inmost hearts, and all
  The art of hypocrites cannot deceive him.
  His sharp discernment sees things clear and true;
  His mind cannot too easily be swayed,
  For reason always holds the balance even.
  He honours and exalts true piety,
  But knows the false, and views it with disgust.
  This fellow was by no means apt to fool him,
  Far subtler snares have failed against his wisdom,
  And his quick insight pierced immediately
  The hidden baseness of this tortuous heart.
  Accusing you, the knave betrayed himself,
  And by true recompense of Heaven's justice
  He stood revealed before our monarch's eyes
  A scoundrel known before by other names,
  Whose horrid crimes, detailed at length, might fill
  A long-drawn history of many volumes.
  Our monarch—to resolve you in a word—
  Detesting his ingratitude and baseness,
  Added this horror to his other crimes,
  And sent me hither under his direction
  To see his insolence out-top itself,
  And force him then to give you satisfaction.
  Your papers, which the traitor says are his,
  I am to take from him, and give you back;
  The deed of gift transferring your estate
  Our monarch's sovereign will makes null and void;
  And for the secret personal offence
  Your friend involved you in, he pardons you:
  Thus he rewards your recent zeal, displayed
  In helping to maintain his rights, and shows
  How well his heart, when it is least expected,
  Knows how to recompense a noble deed,
  And will not let true merit miss its due,
  Remembering always rather good than evil.
  DORINE
  Now Heaven be praised!
  MADAME PERNELLE
  At last I breathe again.
  ELMIRE
  A happy outcome!
  MARIANE
  Who'd have dared to hope it?
  ORGON (to Tartuffe, who is being led by the officer)
  There traitor! Now you're …
SCENE VIII

MADAME PERNELLE, ORGON, ELMIRE, MARIANE, CLEANTE, VALERE, DAMIS, DORINE

  CLEANTE
  Brother, hold!—and don't
  Descend to such indignities, I beg you.
  Leave the poor wretch to his unhappy fate,
  And let remorse oppress him, but not you.
  Hope rather that his heart may now return
  To virtue, hate his vice, reform his ways,
  And win the pardon of our glorious prince;
  While you must straightway go, and on your knees
  Repay with thanks his noble generous kindness.
  ORGON
  Well said! We'll go, and at his feet kneel down,
  With joy to thank him for his goodness shown;
  And this first duty done, with honours due,
  We'll then attend upon another, too.
  With wedded happiness reward Valere,
  And crown a lover noble and sincere.